• Saniya

Why complaining is toxic for you & your mental health? - Leveraging Eckhart Tolle’s "Power of Now"

Updated: Feb 20

See if you can catch yourself complaining, in either speech or thought, about a situation you find yourself in, what other people do or say, your surroundings, your life situation, even the weather.


To complain is always non-acceptance of what is.


It carries a negative charge. When you complain, you turn yourself into a victim. When you speak out, you are in your power. So you can change the situation by taking action or by speaking out if necessary and possible, leave the situation or accept it. Unfortunately, all else is plain madness.


“Living in the Now” is same as “Living in Here” and being happy with it.


Wherever you are, be there totally.


Do you find yourself resisting your here and now? Are you one of those people who would rather be somewhere else? Is your “here” and “now” never good enough?


Through self-observation and self-evaluation, find out if that is the case for you.


If in case you find your here and now intolerable and it makes you unhappy, you have got three options:

  1. Remove yourself from the situation

  2. Change it

  3. Accept it totally

In order to take responsibility of your life, you must choose one of those three options and you must choose now. Then accept the consequences. No excuses. No misery. No negativity. No psychic pollution. Focus on keeping your inner space clear.


If you do decide to take any action – leaving or changing your situation – please drop the negativity first, if at all possible. Remember action arising out of insight into what is required is more effective than action arising out of negative emotions.


Remember any action is often better than no action or status quo, especially if you have been stuck in an unhappy situation for a long time. If it is a mistake, at least you learn something from it, in which case it is no longer a mistake but a learning experience. If you continue to remain stuck, you learn nothing.


If there is absolutely nothing that you can do to change the situation and you can’t remove yourself from it, then accept your here and now by dropping all inner resistance and complaining. Accept it. Embrace it. The false, unhappy self that loves playing the victim card and loves to feel miserable will no longer be able to survive.


This is called “Surrender”. Surrender is not weakness, in fact there is great strength in it. Only a surrendered person has spiritual power. Through it, you will be free internally of the situation. You may then notice that the situation changes for better without any effort on your part.


In any case, you are free.